Life's a Joke and then You Croak- The Wit and Wisdom of Grandpa Frog

I think I have finally found a bright side to last week's debacle.Having been incapacitated by my nearly ex-girlfriend Pixie in the ill fated Frogpool match I have been unable to attend school. Admittedly I have been sewn together by a duck and am in some considerable pain, but I have been putting the time to some good use and hanging out with Gramps down in the mud bath. Gramps is the oldest frog in the bog and he didn't get that way without knowing a thing or two. Here are some of my favourite croaks.

• Frogpool is a waste of a good braincell.

• Good farts are for sharing.

• Find time to admire the view, but never mid hop.

• Life's a joke and then you croak.

• When catching flies never aim for biggest, you may bite off more than you can chew.

• If you choose a big woman you can expect she'll keep your webs full!

• Slugs, snails and puppy dog's tails make good eating.

 

• Never waist a croak on them that don't listen.

 

• Why play Frogpool when you could be gnawing your own leg off!

• Frogs, toads and also newts, all have webs beneath their boots.

 

• Slug trails are the pathway to a good meal.

 

• Don't be afraid to look beyond the bog, do be afraid of looking too closely at it.

 

• A good nap is never a waste of time.

 

• Frogpool is just a load of Bulls!

• That Sir Chatternack is a right toady plonker!

Don't mess with Grandpa Frog!