I Never Thought I'd Say This But...

...I wish I hadn't missed a week of school.

I couldn't believe my luck, scoring a week off school and hanging out with Gramps at the mud pool was great, but  I  it wasn't worth the grief I'm getting now. For a start my form tutor, Mr. Barking, who could never previously recall my name and always referred to me as Number 9 has now forgotten my existence completely! You can't imagine my embarrassment on Monday as he introduced me to the form as the new frog. I wanted the bog to open up and swallow me!

Also, as I think I've mentioned before, I was barley scarping by in bogology, croak music and PSHE (pond studies and habitat ecology) and so currently I am failing in all three. I've been loaded up with extra assignments by my teachers which I need to finish by next week if I have any hope of passing my Bog Standard Certificate.

Worst of all I was called into see Sir Chatternack and given a lecture concerning my commitment to school and the Frogpool team. Apparently he has grave concerns about my attendance, especially at Frogpool practise.

HOW UNFAIR IS THAT?!? I was only ever off school because of a Frogpool related injury WHICH I wouldn't have got if I hadn't have been covering Mungo Frog's central sub position while he was at home recovering from pond rot. I mean how much more dedication does he want exactly?

I made the mistake of asking him this and so have now landed myself in detention until I am well enough to return to Frogpool practise.




Reasoning with Sir Chatternack!


... I don't think Newton's my friend anymore.

It's strange but since I've gone back to school I haven't spoken a word with Newton. He's late in the morning and is straight out of the school at the end of the day. He vanishes at break and lunchtimes and doesn't sit with me in class. I haven't seen him out of school either, he's not replying to my gnat messages and doesn't even turn up when I'm froglet sitting.

In fact, now I come to think of it he never came to visit me once while I was home convalescing. I'd ask him what was going on but he just vanishes before I can get the chance. I've been trying to see if I can spot him hanging out with anyone else but he just seems to disappear like bog fog.

... I think I'm in love.

Another reason I wish I'd been at school is that a new girl started and she is HUMONGOUS, I've never seen such a big frog, she has lumps in all the right places! Her skin is glistening and moist, her webs are as delicate as a spider's web. She's called Lily and her family have just moved from the east side where she went to the technology college.

The first time I saw her Pixie trod on my tongue and told me to put it away! Needless to say Pixie already has Lily in her webs and she is hanging out with the bulls, so not only have I absolutely no hope of going out with her but she probably already despises me to my very core having heard all the tales that Pixie has to tell (they're MOSTLY not true). In fact I've already caught her giving me a funny look in the canteen, I can only assume it was disgust, it was another bog swallowing moment I can tell you!

Lovely Lily

... I want to go to Frogpool Practise.

Partly because I really don't fancy the next month of detentions while my webs fully heal, but mainly because due to her impressive size Lily has immediately been signed up to the team. She must be the biggest bull in the bog and Sir Chatternack is very excited by the advantage that will give us.

I know I've no chance with Lily, she's never going to talk to me, she probably already hates me, but at least if I could go to practice then I could spend some time around her. If I was really lucky maybe she'd tackle me! I know due to her size that it would be painful as hell, but you know what they say, 'love hurts!'