A Dramatic Turn of Events

I feel the need to distance myself from recent painful events so I have decided to dramatise them so you can see for yourself what happened and I can watch from a safe distance.

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Head teacher's office: an assortment of adolescent amphibians cower together in a group, all trying to curl back up into tadpole position. All accept 1 Newt, he stands apart, upright straight in front of the desk. He keeps giving the others withering glances from behind his guyliner.

Newton: Pull yourselves together phibs, we don't want old Chatternack to smell any fear.

The cowering cohort try hard to get themselves into line and pull up straight, very little unconvincingly.

Newton: That' better, don't worry I have it all in web.

The door slams open and in jumps Sir Chatternack an intimidating large and warty amphibian who looks more like a toad than a frog. He takes up his place behind the desk, settles down into his chair and folds his webs. Silence follows  but his eyes meet Newton's and they seem to be involved in a long telepathic stand off.

Sir C/N: (quietly and threateningly) It has been brought  to my attention that there is an illegal frogpool team operating within my school.

Newton: And who brought it to your attention Sir? Would it be Nostradamus Frog sir? The irresponsible frog that has had the whole bog in turmoil and fear while he hid in a under a log?

Sir C/N:  The source of my information is not relevant, what is relevant is that you are the silly phib responsible for this ridiculous rabble who think they are a frogpool team.

Newton: I am very proud to be the founding member of Amphibians United, if that's what you mean?

Sir C/N: You do realise that you are a newt don't you?

Newton: It's hard to not to notice the tail sir.

Sir C/N: And are you aware that a number of your team mates are also newts, or even toads.

Newton: I am sir. Are you finding species identification a little difficult sir? Everyone needs to be clear about their identity.

Sir C/N: Very amusing Mr. Newton I'm sure. I'm sure you don't need me to remind an intelligent Newt like yourself that frogpool is just for frogs. The clue's in the name.

Newton: Well maybe it's time the name was changed sir, I'm intelligent enough to recognise species discrimination when it hops in my face.

Sir C/N: The law clearly states that only frogs are allowed to play frogpool, I didn't make the law, I only follow it.

Newton: Do you? (there is a long silence, Sir Chatternack is not going to rise to that last comment) Anyway, I am following the law sir, as you see sir we do have a frog playing frogpool for us.

Sir Chatternack turns his attention to the poor frog trying to disappear behind Newton.

Sir C/N: Ah yes, Hieronymus, your involvement with these criminal has not escaped my attention.

Frog: (in trembling croak) Criminals?

Sir C/N: Why yes young man, why would you want to play the beautiful game with such pathetic creatures as these, I mean their inferiority must be obvious to a decent frogpool player like yourself.

Newton: (finally loosing his cool) Inferior! I'll have you know that this team could wipe the pond floor with what passes as the school team and we'll prove it to you too!

Sir C/N: (looking at the gibbering phibs clearly amused) Really? I'd like to see that. Well as you know I should expel you and report this infringement of bog law to the authorities but I think I may take up your gauntlet Mr. Newton. A dose of humiliation is just what you need to put you all back in your box and with no need for a criminal record. I think I will rather enjoy the look on your faces after we've trashed you soundly.

Newton: As I will enjoy the look on yours when you eat those words Sir.

Sir C/N: I think I'd better dismiss you before you make things any worse for yourselves.

The rabble of phibs quickly turn and start hopping towards the door as if they have won a great victory when Sir Chatternack clears his throat and calls out.

Sir C/N Oh and Hieronymus, I'll see you at practice on Tuesday.

Frog: Practice Sir, but I thought after this I'd be off the team Sir.

Sir C/N: Really? Well young frog, you're a member of this school are you not? And if you want to stay a member of this school then I you will have to stay a member of out frogpool team and I think we'll be needing some extra practice sessions in the circumstances, we won't want to take any chances will we?

Frog: Yes sir, I understand sir.

The phibs finally exit, but now they drag their webs, and dip their shoulders in a defeated manner.

What is a frog to do?