Practice Makes Pain!

So webs all healed I couldn't put off returning to frogpool practice any longer, I'd been forgetting to limp around Sir Chatternack for at least a week.

I dreading the return, I mean going back to the team means spending time with my almost ex girlfriend (Pixie) and the new love of my life (Lily) who both hate me. This was never going to be an easy reunion so I could not have been more surprised by the reception I got.

As I hopped onto the sidepads of the frogpool pool I was met with balloons, party poppers and cheers! For a gnats heartbeat I actually thought I was being given a genuine welcome back party, and why not after all I had sustained my injuries whilst playing for the team? But then I saw the banner. It was slung right across the central pads and announced 'WELCOME BACK MEAT!'

Meat is short for Dead Meat and is the name that Pixie has called me ever since I accidentally stood her up at the hop. And if I could have been in any doubt that the use of the name on the banner was some kind of threat, the word meat had actually been smeared on using some sort of roadkill!!!!  The paler I turned the louder the cheering and croaking grew as the team enjoyed every morsel of my fear. I couldn't bear to look at them, especially because sat in the middle was the massive mound of froggy femininity that is the beautiful Lily.

So then it began.


Round 1

Warm Up Stretches- As I bent down to touch my toe webs something hit me hard in my backside. I went flying into the pool. I resurfaced to much hilarity from my team mates.

Round 2

Lily Pad Hops- As I was racing across the frogpool by hopping across on the lily pads one of them mysteriously disappeared underneath me just as I was landing on it. Once again I took an unplanned dive and came up to hysterical team mates.

Round 3

Underwater Swimming- I dived into the frogpool to practise my underwater frogpool crossings. Strangely as I did I crashed into a rock just below the surface that had defiantly not been there earlier. I think I resurfaced to my team members (notice I'm not using the word mates anymore) laughing, although I'm not quite sure as I was rather dazed and seeing butterflies fluttering around my head.

Round 4

Practice Tackles- OK this one I should have been prepared for, I was always going to be the bull's favourite target. I was kicked, grabbed twisted, punched, sat on, stretched, plunged and hurled all around the pool. I ended up covered in bruises and scratches, but nothing actually broken, they wouldn't want to cause serious injury that would prevent me coming back to go through it all again next week now would they!



KNOCKOUT!



And the Worst Part- as I was put through this ritual humiliation for the team, Lily the love of my life, didn't even notice. She didn't tackle me, push me, punch me laugh at me or even glance at me. It was as if I didn't exist. I can't believe she hates me that much!